The Random Adventures of Riyu Ikimono
by Spontaneously Random
Summary: So what happens when Riyu Ikimono and the other ninjas relocate to the new continent of Kantyo? Stuff! Involves OCs but will include most major Naruto characters. Plot—there actually is one! Sort of.
1. Chapter One – Feesh

**The first chapter of my first fanfiction. Love it, hate it, despise it—review if you feel like it.  
****  
Avid Naruto fans: I'll add in more Naruto characters as the story progresses.  
Note: I am constantly changing words/paragraphs/sentences, so if you look again,  
and something's different—yeah, that'd be my obsessive editing at work.  
Another note: I update when I want to update, so don't count on weekly chapters.**

**Disclaimer: Now, why would I be writing a fanfiction if I already _owned_ Naruto?!  
I own Riyu, however. You steal, you die a horrible death.**

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Chapter One – Feesh

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"So, I take it you know where Kantyo is?" the Hokage inquired. The proud Konoha leader sat up straight in her seat. She glared disdainfully at the purple-clad ninja across the table. The girl was doodling on some very important papers—no doubt a peace treaty of some kind.

"Well, yeah, it's that northern continent," Riyu answered distractedly, while she added finishing touches, mainly fangs, to her sketch of the Hokage. "_Everyone_ knows about Kantyo." Riyu rested her chin on her hand. With the eyes of an artist, she evaluated her masterpiece.

"_So?_ Mission? Kantyo? Is there a connection?" she began again. Maybe this time she'd actually get paid to do something interesting. On her last mission she was forced to escort the arrogant, conceited daughter of a wealthy feudal lord. It wasn't fun. The enemies had most likely decided that the kid wasn't worth assassinating; it was a miracle Riyu hadn't died from boredom.

And, a double plus, in Kantyo she'd be able to visit some friends.

The Hokage nodded in a serious sort of way, leafing through the ever-growing stack of paperwork on her desk. "There's an opportunity for you to be relocated. To New Konohagakure. _Permanently._" A few lengthy seconds passed before it all sank into the quicksand of Riyu's mind. She gaped. She gawked. She did not do much else. The Hokage smiled at her flabbergasted expression. "Well, you don't have to if you don't want to, but, I heard you had friends over there…"

"Move to Kantyo? HELL YEAH!" Riyu was having a Sakura moment. The Hokage imagined her hair turning a shade of pink.

"… And I'll take that as a yes?" The Hokage scribbled three lines onto a note card. "Okay," she said, "you'll be taking missions from the Hokage from now on. Remember that." Looking up, she frowned at Riyu's degrading drawing. Riyu had added claws and a bloody background. "I wasn't aware that I had fangs," the Hokage commented.

"It adds a nice touch, doesn't it? So realistic."

"Looks more like you," the Hokage snapped.

"Was that a compliment?"

The Hokage ignored the question. "Forget it. Anyway, back to the _important_ stuff. Remember, once you get to Kantyo, you'll be taking missions from the Hokage."

"Wait, I'm taking missions from _you_, the Hokage, when I'm over _there_?" This could possibly work, except for the unfortunate fact that telephones hadn't been invented yet. (The Konoha scientists claim to be at the testing stage, but it is evident that they are lying.)

"No, you'll be taking missions from the _alternate_ Hokage in New Konoha," the Hokage explained in a slow, petulant manner, rolling her eyes as she spoke. "See, I can't be in two places at one, so I appointed another Hokage."

"I see," Riyu mused wisely. She gazed out of the large, frequently punched and replaced window behind the Hokage. The weather forecasters had screwed up again, she noted silently. "Is that it? When do I leave?" she asked.

"Tomorrow morning at the Shosakana Harbor." The Hokage handed over a small slip of paper. "Sorry about the short notice. This paper has the exact departure time and a few other little details on it. It also proves to the sailors that you aren't a murderous S-Rank criminal who wants to take over the world. Of course, if you _were_ a murderous S-Rank criminal, you wouldn't even need a paper slip—you'd just kill everyone, but then again, the slip's for precautionary measures, so…"

"… That's nice." Riyu stuffed the apparently useful paper into a pocket and turned to leave.

"Wait! One more thing!"

Riyu glanced back. "What?"

"Will you miss me?"

Panicking, Riyu hesitated for a moment. The Hokage was giving her a progressively evil look… Not wanting to get injured a day before leaving, Riyu hastily answered with an, "Uh, yes?" and was greatly relieved when the woman gave her a satisfied smile.

Whew, close one.

* * *

"Shuriken, check. Large, evil-looking weapons, check. Kunai, check. Bombs and explosives, check. Money, check. Video games, check. Possessions, check. Wait! Where the hell did I get _this_!?" Gingerly, Riyu held up a plushy doll with two fingers. Deathly horrified by it, she threw it out the window, where the monstrosity then proceeded to hit an innocent passerby on the head; it began its reign of terror on the world shortly after. All of this Riyu missed as she continued to pack her belongings.

"Toothbrush, check. A crapload of hairspray, check. Did I miss something?" Riyu stared at the hulking mountain on her bed. Since she was relocating, she was bringing everything she owned, besides a few unwanted pieces of furniture.

A clanging cough directed her attention towards an aged, decrepit table in the corner. More coughs indicated that her vertically-challenged and quite irritating mechanical cat had decided to wake up. The cat, previously curled up in a tight ball, stretched luxuriously.

"Ebo? What do you want?" asked Riyu, scowling.

"Just pointing out some things that you forgot," stated the cat in a meow, innocently. His voice did not sound like that of a robot's, due to extremely advanced technology. Why people could make robotic cats like this and not be able to make a telephone was a question that Riyu pondered frequently. Ebo stretched a second time and yawned.

"Yeah?" Riyu tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the cat, who was clearly taking his time. If she managed to finish the whole packing thing soon, she could stop by at Ichiraku's for a late meal.

"You need to bring me along and, most importantly, you need to get a life." Ebo attempted to lift his metallic mouth up in a smirk, but failed epically, causing the smirk to resemble a grimace. "You play too many video games, Riyu," he said simply to his glowering master.

Riyu frowned at Ebo and wondered why she'd let him stay here in the first place. She pitied the cat's former owners. Ebo was smiling smugly now. Enraged, Riyu's brain searched for something sensible to say. "Okay," she responded, "so maybe I do play too many video games, but who can resist cartoon violence?" Stowing away a weapon, she continued, "Anyway, with that attitude, you're not going anywhere. I've already made plans for you. Since I've already sold the house, you'll be living with a friend. The one who lives near the ramen place, remember her?"

"What!? Oh dear muffins, not _that_ friend that lives near the ramen place!?"

"What's so bad?"

Ebo shuddered, obviously having less than pleasant memories. "I don't want to talk about it." He leapt onto a chair. "And I can't just stay here!" he screeched, freaking out. "It's going to be so boring! What'll I do!? What's the point of life if you've taken the video games!?" The cat posed dramatically, with a one silvery paw on his heart. Then, he resumed freaking out.

Riyu disregarded this display. Plugging her ears and averting her eyes did the trick for a while. Ebo detected her ignorance with exasperation. He promptly threw himself at the packed pile of possessions and began clawing. "Fine, okay you win!" Riyu sighed loudly, desperately wishing she knew where the cat's power button was. (The location of his power button was a closely guarded secret.) "It seems you don't have a life either. But you better not mess anything up. Pick a bag and stay with the supplies."

By the time Riyu had finished all preparations, it was almost sunset. Several bulky bags and scrolls containing furniture now lay resting by her bed. Her home was eerily bare. Riyu plopped down into a chair and alternated between staring blankly at the room and watching the multicolored sky. It was hard to believe that this was her last night in Konoha—not just Konoha, the Fire Country, the whole _continent_, too. For a split second, she felt depressed. Then, getting slapped by her inner self because she was depressed, Riyu chose not to be depressed anymore for fear of further slapping. She yawned lazily. She didn't feel like exerting the energy needed to walk to Ichiraku's. Tomorrow she would have to wake up early, which was something she did not particularly enjoy. "Ebo, set your internal alarm clock to six-thirty a.m.," Riyu ordered feebly.

"Huh?" said the cat, now snoozing comfortably on the windowsill. "Yeah, sure, whatever," he muttered sleepily. Ebo turned slightly, fell off the windowsill, and landed on the floor, with no reaction at all besides a string of snores.

"Feesh…"

* * *

"Ebo, you idiot! We're late!" Riyu raced through the streets in a rampage, probably angry enough to scare away multiple monster trucks. "I _told_ you to set your alarm to six-thirty!" Furiously, she stomped across a park, causing several cute, completely innocent children to hurriedly run away. "And what's up with those children, anyway?"

Ebo poked his head out of a brown messenger bag and observed a very scary-looking Riyu. Immediately, he stuck his head back in to avoid being strangled. "I told you, I'm sorry!" cried a muffled voice from inside of the bag. "I was really sleepy, so I sort of forgot, and then I started dreaming about feesh, and you know I can't do anything when I'm dreaming about feesh… and… and…"

"Damn feesh."

Riyu turned onto a side road and quickened her pace. It was a quarter to 7:00 and the ship was leaving at 7:23 precisely. Exactly who had picked such an idiotic time, Riyu would never know. If she hurried, she could make it, with some luck.

It was springtime; the sun was already up and shining, illuminating the path through the trees. Concealed birds chirped from within veils of leaves, squirrels dashed up trees, and everything was happy and cheerful and good. Well, that was before Riyu trampled everything.

Riyu took a shortcut. Straying from the path, she charged into the foliage. Hopping agilely from branch to branch, she traveled east towards the ocean. Occasionally, she'd see a squirrel cramming itself with nuts. Thus continued another fifteen minutes of hopping from branch to branch and watching squirrels cram themselves with nuts.

After spotting a rather voracious squirrel, the forest thinned considerably. Soon, Riyu left the shadows of the trees and found the main road that led to the waterside. She came across several signs pointing towards the seaside town of Shosakana, nearly half of them sprayed with graffiti and therefore unrecognizable. Riyu was inspired, and pulling out a green spray can (which she just conveniently happened to have), she drew a llama on an unoccupied sign.

Another minute of frantic running rewarded Riyu with a view of some buildings in the distance.

More increasingly frantic running.

And then, Riyu was inside of the town's borders, making her way through lovely little paved roads and passing quaint antique shops. The store windows often reflected Riyu's form, but only for a short while before she sped past. "Only four… minutes… left," she panted. She hoped she didn't run into a pole. Or a person. Fortunately, it was still early, and only a few people were out, running errands or taking walks. Those that were on the streets made sure to either stay out of Riyu's vicinity or to find the nearest store to take shelter in.

Riyu's appearance would be considered abnormal for a regular civilian, but normal for a ninja. Her wild purple hair was kept in a ponytail, spiky and leaning towards the right. Most unusual were her eyes; they had an untamed look to them, with one being lime-green and the other black. (This often scared little children, much to Riyu's delight.)

The avenue Riyu currently traveled on led directly to the harbor. She couldn't see the real sea yet, just a sea of boats, most of them medium-sized and white. Shosakana was a large, prosperous center of fishing and trade. (If your squid isn't imported, it's either from Shosakana or it's cheap squid.) A good number of luxury ships started and ended their journeys from the waterside city; several yachts were docked nearby. If—no, _when—_Riyu got rich, she wouldn't buy a yacht—she'd put that money to even better use and buy an excessively expensive video game console, and maybe a flat screen TV or two.

Riyu comprehensively inspected the seemingly endless rows of docked ships. She had to find her transportation within the next three minutes.

The ship was white, but that didn't help out much. Everything was absurdly vague. The Hokage's info paper described it as long and sleek, with a green flag. Quite ironically, it was called the _Big Feesh_.

Ebo emerged from his bag to assist with the search, hoping that the present situation would aid Riyu in forgetting her death threats. "Uh, Riyu?" he said, hesitantly.

"Yeah?" Riyu responded. With hope, she eyed a ship that was suspiciously similar to the description of the ship they were looking for, only to find out it was the _Small Feesh_.

"Well, I just wanted to point something out…"

"Yeah? Keep talking."

"Uh, I'm pretty sure the boats are in alphabetical order."

"Oh, is that right?" Riyu glanced at a notably bland boat to her right. _Smart Feesh_, it was called. Her left eye twitched. "Somehow, I doubt feesh will ever be smart," she mumbled.

Riyu and Ebo said their goodbyes to the _Small Feesh_ and the _Smart Feesh_ and headed towards the beginning of the alphabet. It was now past 7:23, but one could be optimistic and say that the ship hadn't left yet. Riyu ran the length of the dock. "_Big Whale_, the _Busy Feesh_, the _Blue Platypus_," she read. The names had no relation whatsoever with the boats themselves, however, as the _Big Whale_ looked more like a _Small Feesh_, the _Blue Platypus_ was in fact maroon colored, and the _Busy Feesh_ was forlorn and deserted.

"The _Big Feesh_!" Riyu and Ebo shrieked simultaneously.

"Hmm?" A sailor on deck turned towards them. "What? Could it be the missing passenger? … And, her, uh… mechanical cat?" His accent was ridiculous. His mustache was ridiculous. Riyu restrained herself from laughing—instead, she had to manage with an unpleasant snorting sound. The sailor looked from Riyu to Ebo and frowned. "You have identification?"

Riyu stepped closer and waved the paper slip in the air.

"Hmm, you're a lucky one. We were just about to leave without you." He checked his watch. "We're on a tight schedule, you know. Hurry up before we really _do_ leave." The sailor walked away briskly.

Both Riyu and Ebo thought the man was rather rude.

Before boarding the ship, Riyu looked back at Shosakana and the distant forest behind it for the last time. She wasn't the type of person who attached herself to things, but it did feel kind of weird to be leaving her home. She'd always be able to come back, right? Anyway, Kantyo was going to be fun. "Bye, Fire Country!" she cried out. Three seagulls, shocked by the noise, abandoned their perches. Waving sadly at the landscape, Riyu turned to embark the ship.

She jumped on board and wandered around aimlessly. The boat appeared sturdy; marks on the side suggested previous struggles with storms. The _Big Feesh_'s purpose was to carry several passengers and heavy cargo for long distances. This time it'd be making the strenuous voyage to Kantyo.

The landmass of Kantyo had been discovered eleven years ago by two explorers, the names of which Riyu could not remember, due to her lack of decent long term memory **(A/N: Also due to my lack of decent imagination... heh...)**. The new land was an isolated continent up north, past the Lightning Country. (Think about all the new opportunities for exploration! Think about all the new opportunities for economic growth! Think about all the new opportunities for trashing ecosystems!) Ships had arrived from all around to populate Kantyo. Within five years, the place had turned into a massive bartering hub, with factories and mountains and whatnot.

Riyu headed towards the front of the _Big Feesh_. A cluster of sailors dressed in white and blue stripes were talking excitedly. Riyu had absolutely no knowledge whatsoever of ships and sailing, so the sailors might as well have been talking in Swedish. With resolve, she approached a man she thought was the captain (his uniform was somewhat more complicated looking).

"Uh, are you the captain?" Riyu asked.

"No, I'm the janitor."

"Oh," said Riyu, conspicuously disappointed that her deductions had been proven wrong. "But, that uniform… it's…" Riyu gestured at the slightly more complicated looking parts.

"This? I drew this all by myself!" the sailor boasted enthusiastically.

"You… drew…?"

"Yep. Like it? I've been practicing. See, my dream is to be an artist, but I'm stuck on the boat for another two years by contract… My dream used to be being a janitor, but it didn't turn out as well as I'd expected…"

"Yeah, sure," replied Riyu, not at all sure why she was continuing the conversation, even though she _was_ a fine art connoisseur.

"Say, you wanna see this tattoo I have? I made the design myself!" the sailor burbled, zealously pointing a chubby finger at his arm.

"Um, actually, no. Sorry," Riyu said. She gave the artsy janitor a forced smile and quickly flounced away. Now, where the hell was the elusive captain?

* * *

"What!? I can't stay on this piece of floating crap for a month!" Riyu was outraged, angry, depressed, and slightly hungry.

"I'm truly sorry, girl," apologized a bearded man—who did not look very sorry—in a navy blue coat, "but I'm the captain an' that's how long it's gonna take. Kantyo ain't next door, ya know! We'll 'ave to stop at the Nabarumi Islands to refuel."

Riyu sighed. "What about airplanes? You know, those flying pieces of metal that go extremely fast? Woo! A-I-R-P-L-A-N-E." She pantomimed a flying airplane with her hands.

The captain made a childish clicking sound with his tongue. "Airplanes are reserved for royalty an' people of high rank. So you jus' gonna have to make do with this here boat."

"So we have high-tech computers and magical summoning paper slips, but no public airplanes. Or telephones. What's wrong with the world?"

Captain Kinpo sat down, content. He opened a drawer in his desk and fetched a bent white box of what Riyu knew to be cigarettes. After removing one from the package, he struck a match and held it to the cig's tip. It lit instantly. A foul scent took to the air. The captain inhaled deeply, then blew out, right into Riyu's face. It was worse than the kind Asuma smoked.

"Okay," coughed Riyu. "I…" Cough. "Don't…" Cough. "It's…" Cough. More coughing. Even more coughing. Using her hands as a shield, Riyu backed away from the captain and the hated cigarette. "Please stop." Riyu stifled another cough. "For my sake, please. I want to live long enough to beat the video game that's coming out next month."

Just then, Ebo popped out of a backpack. "Hey Riyu, guess what? I…" He sucked in a mouthful of the putrid air. "God, this stuff is terrible!" he gasped, returning to the bag, now contaminated.

"Truly sorry, girl," said Captain Kinpo, who, again, did not look like he was very sorry, "but I'm the captain an' I feel like smokin'."

"Fine," choked Riyu, swiftly heading for the door. "Just make sure you have a replacement if you happen to die from lung cancer or something like that…" The door slammed shut.

The door reopened. Riyu staggered back in. "Hey," she wheezed, "so what room am I staying in?"

Captain Kinpo tossed a rugged brass key at Riyu. "Room Eleven," he said gruffly. "It's all yours."

Again, the door slammed shut and reopened. "Uh, Captain Kinpo?"

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering, what kind of accent _do_ you have, anyways? I mean, it's not really—"

"Does it matter!?"

"Um… yes…?"

"Oh, _get out_!"

For the third time, Riyu left the room. She headed farther below deck, down another flight of stairs. Room Eleven was, strangely, near the bottom of the steps. The ceiling was low, the lights were dim, and everything smelled musty. Two paintings, both cracked and dusty, were up on either side of the hallway. Riyu reached the wooden door engraved with an '11', jammed the key in, and turned.

The room was scanty and compressed. Two beds lay near a dirty window with a smeared view of the ocean. A television set rested on an old-looking table. A black trash can survived in a corner. There was also a miniscule closet, but Riyu doubted that she could fit much in it. The room sadly lacked a bathroom.

Riyu tossed her bags on the floor and jumped onto the bed. She looked out the window. Although hazy, she could see past the smudges. Blue, blue, blue, and—hey! Was that a floating… telephone!?

The television was thoroughly inspected, but it was the kind you couldn't play games on. No plugholes, no connectors. Riyu's game systems would have to, desolately, stay in bags for another month. Riyu scoured the room, found the TV remote in an odd place, pressed the power button (which was also in an odd place), and was disappointed to find out that there were only three channels.

The most annoying of the three available was the Konohagakure Technology Channel, where the scientists were talking about their "new and promising plans for the functional telephone".

Further button pressing yielded the QVC, where they were trying to sell purple llama figurines.

Riyu smacked her face against a pillow. "Get ready for some seasickness, Ebo," she said to her luggage.

"At least there'll be plenty of feesh!" remarked Ebo happily, earning a glare.

Riyu flipped to the final channel—the only one slightly useful. And so, the rest of her day was spent on the bed, listening to the Weather Channel's smooth jazz.

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**And there you have it. Long chapter, huh?**


	2. Chapter Two – Muffins

**Muffins rule the world. Anyways, my second chapter is up and running—  
****somehow I managed to find a way around FanFiction's annoying upload error problem.  
Wow, it's up earlier than I expected... Again, review if you feel like it!**

**Kiba comes in this chapter! Akamaru and his fluffiness, too! I tried not to make them OOC...  
*gets pelted with tomatoes***

**Yeah... well, enjoy.**

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Chapter Two – Muffins

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"Ack!" The sound of Ebo choking on yet another fish.

"Bleh!" The sound of Riyu using up yet another cheap paper bag.

Riyu jumped on the bed and lay flat, staring (and trying to avoid staring) at the extremely dirty ceiling. There were stains. Riyu did not want to know how they got there. "I can't take this anymore," she said hoarsely. One week into their month long trip and she already felt like crap.

"Me, too," agreed Ebo. "I don't need to breathe, but all of this feesh getting stuck in my throat is really screwing with my system. Watch this." The metal cat trotted around the room, lifting his tail high as he did so. It jerked in a very unsightly manner. "See? The feesh messed up my movement mechanism. Look at what it's doing to my tail! It's disastrous, horrific! Isn't it!?"

"Yeah, very scary," Riyu said absentmindedly.

"You can't even begin to understand the scale of this atrocity!"

"Yeah, absolutely dreadful."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh, what?"

* * *

Looks like a vegetable. Feels like a vegetable. Smells like a vegetable. But _is_ it a vegetable!?

"Doesn't taste like it…" Riyu chewed a few more times. She couldn't quite say what it _did _taste like, but it certainly wasn't a vegetable. "Ebo?" she inquired after swallowing. "What does it taste like?"

"My internal taste sensor is telling me that it tastes like…" He paused. "Like… nothing."

"My thoughts exactly." Riyu observed her food, regretting her decision when she immediately lost her appetite.

"Wow, it's delicious!" Ebo exclaimed excitedly, ingesting a veggie and washing it down with a huge gulp of water.

"Delicious? A few seconds ago, you said it was terrible and flavorless," Riyu pointed out.

"Well, my taste sensor was telling me that it had no taste. But I just told my taste sensor to tell me that it tasted good," Ebo mewed smugly.

"Oh," said Riyu dejectedly, not fully understanding robotics and wishing she had a taste sensor she could talk to. Slightly depressed, she inattentively stabbed at a vegetable with her fork. A few moments later, she noticed that her fork was now embedded in the wooden dining table instead of her original target. Her plate was on the other side of the room. "Okay, that's not normal, is it?" she said.

The boat lurched again, and Riyu's plate met the floor with a crash. "I hope they don't make me pay for that," Riyu said, eyeing the cracked pieces. "Come on, Ebo, we're going back to the room. If anyone asks, just say the cat did it."

"Okay… Wait, but _I'm_ the cat!"

"Exactly."

"That's evil, Riyu. Really evil. You know just how evil that is? It's—dammit!" Just then his throat was blocked by a large clump of broccoli. "B-broc… li… p-plug… my tu—!" he gagged.

"That's too bad, Ebo. Hurry up."

"Yeah, yeah…" Ebo finished up his food morosely and followed Riyu downstairs. Riyu was just about to open the door to Room Eleven when, suddenly, a large white fluffy thing appeared. Riyu was very surprised for a moment. It's not everyday that you get attacked by a large white fluffy thing; the experience is traumatic for some people.

Without preamble, the large white fluffy thing proceeded to tackle Riyu. Riyu attempted to fight back, but her arms were pinned. She waited for the death blow. It did not come.

"Akamaru?" asked a now slobber covered Riyu. The large white fluffy thing replied with a happy bark.

"Riyu? Wow, is that you? Akamaru, move for a sec." A brown-haired boy with red fang-like marks on his face grabbed the overly affectionate dog, allowing Riyu to stand up and breathe. Kiba was almost as tall as Riyu, even though he was only sixteen. Akamaru—Akamaru was gigantic.

"Yeah, it's me," Riyu groaned, searching for a towel to wipe her face with. "I didn't know you guys were on the boat, too. Could've saved me from some unnecessary slobber, you know." She disappeared for a second. Returning with a towel from her room, she quickly rubbed her face.

"Well, we eat in our room, and we go out for walks at the weirdest times." Kiba grinned. "I think the boat's messing up the schedule Akamaru used to have." He looked at Akamaru, who was looking at Ebo, who was looking terrified. Ebo backed away slowly.

"Good dog, nice dog… don't kill me…"

Akamaru barked in response.

"No, I'm not a toy, you idiot!" retorted Ebo.

Akamaru barked again.

"And yes, I'm allowed to call you an idiot. I have authority! Authority, I say!"

More barks.

"No you're not! If you were smart you'd be talking instead of barking!"

"Hey, Kiba, so you're relocating, too?" asked Riyu. She decided to ignore Ebo's nice little chat with Akamaru. It was best to avoid violence, after all.

"Yeah. First I have to stop at Nabarumi to deliver a package from Hokage-sama to the Nabarumi daimyo. Apparently, it's for keeping our good relations." Kiba smirked at Akamaru, who was now growling very angrily at Ebo.

"Where's Hana?" Riyu smiled, picturing her short-tempered, loud, and completely random friend. That girl could really punch a person.

"She went on the last ship. There was only one spot, and I wanted to go first, but, you know, she wanted to go first, and…" Kiba winced. Riyu understood him perfectly. You do notwant to make Hana angry.

The boat lurched spontaneously, and Riyu bashed her head on a wall. Kiba was lucky, and fell on Akamaru. Ebo was not lucky, and Akamaru fell on top of him. If you thought about it, Akamaru wasn't very lucky either, having fallen on top of a very vicious mechanical cat.

* * *

"Rock! Paper! Scissors!"

"I win… again," Kiba said, beaming.

Riyu wore an unmotivated, miserable look. This was their 396th match. Kiba, 394 points. Riyu, 2. "Let's stop at four hundred, okay? I think we've already established the fact that I suck at this game. We can switch to hangman or something. I think we only played that two hundred and fifty times."

Riyu and Kiba had exhausted their portable, wireless game systems' batteries, and had yet to find a usable outlet for recharging. There _were _working outlets somewhere on the ship, Riyu knew, but to use their energy she'd have to sneak off to the kitchen at night, and the kitchen wasn't a fun place—too many knives and too many murderous cooks who used them.

As usual, nothing much was on TV besides people selling freakishly expensive merchandise on QVC. More freakishly, people were buying, despite the price.

And those scientists were talking about their damn telephones again.

* * *

"We're stoppin' at Nabarumi today," announced the captain. "We'll be stayin' for a day. Everyone has to be back 'fore six. And we _will_ leave without you if you aren't."

The _Big Feesh _docked at the small but busy Nabarumi Islands, shortly after a tasteless breakfast.

The Nabarumi Islands were very famous, but not because of their beaches. The beaches there were horrible, strangely colored, and infested with fifty-two species of man-eating sharks. Instead, tourists came to Nabarumi to survey their impressing selection of top quality muffins.

"Hey, Kiba, can I come with you on your mission?"

"Sure, we can stop at the muffin shops on the way back."

Riyu's mouth watered. Flavor. Real flavor. "I've always wanted to buy a Nabarumi muffin. And they say the ones here are a lot better than the imported ones."

"What's so good about them?"

"They're just better."

"Why?"

"Just because." No one ever had to explain why Nabarumi muffins were so delectable. It was just a fact that everyone acknowledged. They were yummy. They just were.

"Whatever. You know, they also sell cupca—"

"No!" roared Riyu. "It must be a muffin! Who would buy cupcakes at Nabarumi? It's preposterous!"

Kiba cringed at Riyu's outburst. "Okay, okay. I was just suggesting something. Calm down."

They exited the ship from the starboard side. Kiba was being especially careful not to say anything else about muffins in front of Riyu. Sometimes, her temper could match that of Hana's. It wasn't pretty.

The first thing they noticed was the smell. It wasn't a particularly good smell, and it was wafting up from the water. Riyu looked down, and wished she hadn't. She averted her eyes, turning them towards the sky. Clouds. Happy, fluffy clouds. Just clouds. The water had looked even worse than the food on the ship. Kiba and Akamaru were suffocating. With skill, and much more eye-averting, Riyu dragged the two away from the water, inland.

The main island of Nabarumi had three small mountains; the capital city was nestled in between. Riyu and Kiba entered through a massive gate located between the two southern peaks. Walking through the streets, they were surprised to find that many of the city's houses were similar to those in Konoha.

Kiba seemed to know where he was going, so Riyu just tagged along, obediently.

"Oh crap, we're lost," said Kiba suddenly.

"I thought you knew where you were going!"

"Um, actually, no, I didn't. I just went towards the prettiest-looking building… but apparently, it's the tourist center." He pointed at the orange structure in front of them.

"Well, great job, Kiba!" Riyu sat down on a bench and pondered their situation for a moment. Closing her eyes, she focused. After a few seconds, she decided to quit focusing, and pointed in a random direction. "Okay, we're going that way."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

Coincidentally, they ended up right in front of the daimyo's mansion.

"That was convenient," Kiba remarked. He rang a snazzy doorbell.

"Do not doubt the powers of randomness," said Riyu wisely.

"You mean being spontaneous?"

"No."

"Aren't they, like, the same?"

"No, young Kiba. You must understand that there is a fine line between spontaneous and randomness. Of course, randomness completely pwns spontaneousness."

"You mean spontaneity?"

"No! Spontaneous_ness_, Kiba. Spontaneous_ness_! You have to realize that—"

Just then, the daimyo's snazzy door opened. A snazzy servant in a snazzy outfit ushered them inside. "Welcome," he said, in a snazzy manner. "You are delivering the package, right?"

"Yeah," Kiba replied, reaching into his bag and fishing out a thick, crumpled envelope.

"I see," said the man. "Entou-sama will be with you shortly. Until then, please enjoy our complimentary muffins." He waved his hands at an ornate table in the corner. There was an expensive silver tray laden with chocolate chip muffins.

"It's almost too beautiful to eat," Riyu whispered as the servant left the room.

"Yeah, too beautiful to eat," echoed Kiba dubiously.

Despite the muffins' well-appreciated beauty, they were devoured within a minute, with Riyu wolfing down more than half.

The snazzy servant returned and led them down a labyrinth of lavishly decorated corridors. They paused in front of two large, golden doors, probably worth more than Riyu's house. The (still unnamed) servant knocked gently on the door, and they waited for a response.

"Enter!" commanded a loud, imperious, and muffled voice.

Riyu and Kiba walked in hesitantly.

"Hurry up! Hurry up! I need that message! It's a matter of life and death! If I don't get that package I will declare war on innocent countries! I will ban the tourists from eating our muffins!"

Kiba quickened his pace and stopped halfway in the room, his face plastered with a smile. Riyu looked closely at the daimyo. The man had a bushy mustache, and a large, round nose. He was surprisingly skinny, being that his country made muffins. The room was fashionably elegant, complete with chandeliers, plush carpeting, and servants.

The daimyo's eyes flicked to Kiba. "And you are?" he inquired. His hands swished from underneath his royal robes.

"Kiba Inuzuka." Kiba gestured at Riyu. "And this is Riyu Ikimono."

"I see. Welcome, Kiba-san… Riyu-san." He grabbed a muffin from a nearby tray. "Where's the package?"

Kiba got the package out of his bag and hastily handed the envelope to the snazzy servant, who hastily handed it to another servant, who hastily handed it to another servant, who hastily handed it to another servant, who hastily handed it to another servant, who hastily handed it to the daimyo. He opened the envelope with careful fingers, and scanned the contents inside, secretively. After a moment or two, he nodded. "Thank you," he said. "You may leave now."

As they left hurriedly, Riyu asked Kiba, "What was in that envelope anyway?"

"You know, I have no idea. I never checked. But it was really bulky. A book, maybe?"

* * *

Back in his room, Entou-sama was having a particularly splendid time. He was reading the latest Icha Icha book, taking his time on every page, smiling perversely, and thinking …disturbing thoughts.

* * *

**If you're wondering where the plot is... they get to Kantyo next time, I promise!**

**If you see any errors in my writing, please tell me!**


End file.
